Shoes that don't quite fit...

Ever have that shiny pair of shoes that just didn't seem to fit. They are your size... you like the style... your foot goes into them... but for some bizarre reason your foot just doesn't like to conform? Maybe it's just me and my constant need for improvement which on some large scale equals attainable perfection in my mind but I can't seem to make myself fit this shoe I am currently in. I like the job okay. I can do it. It suits me... but it just isn't fullfilling. I suppose the biggest problem is that I am apparantly okay with mediocraty on some level because I am unwilling to alter my monotany. Why is it that achievement seems so easy when you are younger? Conquering the world becomes less intriguing as time goes on. I entertain glimpses of me ten years ago and think that maybe that person is coming back to reside within me. You know her, the ambitious, foxfire, refusing to take no for an answer, refusing to accept that people, places, things can't be changed. Am I so blind to think that me ten years ago would be okay with me not finishing my degree, okay with not traveling, okay with not demanding that I be helping others? I suppose my question is how do I toss this pair of ill-fitting shoes and go shoe shopping? Do I simply walk barefoot until I find something suitable... or should I find a good match and then set these shoes afire? This life... it's a tricky thing. Someone should write that book... the book for adolescents, that encourages them to pursue their far fetched dreams before 25 because after that you will need a set of jumper cables to get your ass in gear! I hope you're having a good week. Sorry these last few blogs have been me venting about my own chaotic institutionalization. I love you for reading what I have to say!