This post is for those that are aimlessly meandering in the so-called "World of Dating."
For starters, let's talk about the man side of things for a few minutes. There are a few misconceptions that women have and I'd like to share some insight on things to provide a bit of clarity. Obviously, I am not a man, but I've been gifted (or cursed) with an inate ability to relate to men. I'll be honest, women confuse the hell out of me, but men are simple, their actions are common sense and their reasons are easy to explain. (Let's keep in mind, because I know there will be a crybaby out there that says I am generalizing, I am not including all men in this discussion... I am just using my personal experience as a guide.)
1. Men are simple. If they don't call... it is for one of three reasons...
I. They don't want to talk to you.
II. They are intimidated by you.
III. They got their service disconnected because they didn't pay the bill.
Don't read into it. They aren't waiting three days, they didn't leave their phone at a friends, and they did get the fifty messages that you left, no matter what they say otherwise... take a hint and move on.
2. Men do not like to be pursued.
It is not hot for you to call them when you wake up, after your shower, when you are eating breakfast and 65 other times throughout the day. If you can't be self sufficient, the clingy girl will go from cute to overwhelming in a week, tops. He wants to pursue you. If you don't call and he wants to talk to you he will call you!
3. Take care of yourself.
Attracting a man is a simple process... eyes first, mind later. If you are wearing sweatpants and haven't showered in three days, don't wonder why you haven't gotten hit on. Guys are 92% visual. And this is for the life of your relationship. No matter what he says... the nightshirt you wear with holes is not his favorite.
4. Men are not projects.
If you don't like who he is right now, you will not like him in a month, week or year. You will not be a catalyst for him to stop smoking, womanizing, drinking or being an Athiest. Do not even start a relationship with someone that you cannot see yourself with in the future, as is.... it is useless to attempt to change someone. In the future he may change what you don't like, but there is a good possibility that isn't going to happen and you will ruin the relationship if you are constantly reminding him of how he can change.
And now some general advice.
It is in your best interest to seek to make friends and quit searching for a mate. When you are friends first, and I mean true friends, you know each others vices, you know that he snores when he sleeps, or that she can't keep a man because she is high maintenance. Friendships always make the sweetest relationships. At some point your passion and lust are going to fade away, maybe in 5 years, maybe in 40 but at some point you are going to be faced with someone that you have to coexist with... it is so sweet to be able to carry on a conversation with your spouse and know that they are your best friend.
Ladies, men are sexual creatures, if you offer your body whether it be on the first date or when you have been dating a while, no matter what they will be tempted to take you up on the offer. When you do this prior to knowing someone, you are throwing the respect factor out the window. You are no longer someone to get to know, but are in the classification of every other conquest that they have had. It is important to make sure that the person that you give yourself to, is really invested in you. As casual as sex has become in our society, it is important that you know a little piece of you stays with each person that you are intimate with, be sure that it is someone that is worth owning that little piece of you. Guard your body, it is the only one you get. Be selfish with your intimacy. Know that there is someone out there that will respect you more if you wait until you both know that it is the right thing. You are selling yourself short if you believe that by giving your body away, someone will love you. And while we are on the subject... leave something to the imagination. Cover up. You can't tell me that you are dressing premiscuously because it makes you feel good about yourself or you think it looks pretty. You show your assets for one reason, just like Dollar Tree has a big money sign on the door. You are what you advertise.
It is important for me to tell you to live your life. That is the ultimate advice. If you are living your life and making something of yourself, the love aspect of life will find you where you least expect it. Searching for love will most likely leave you empty handed and heavy hearted. You deserve the best. Work on making yourself the best you that is possible. When you are genuinely able to love yourself, someone else will think you are worth loving too.
Again, as a clause, I am no expert. I love observing people and it appears that so many are sinking in an ever widening pool of relationship discharge. These are my opinions... everyone has one... and if you don't, maybe you should trying formulating some, it is good for your soul!
For starters, let's talk about the man side of things for a few minutes. There are a few misconceptions that women have and I'd like to share some insight on things to provide a bit of clarity. Obviously, I am not a man, but I've been gifted (or cursed) with an inate ability to relate to men. I'll be honest, women confuse the hell out of me, but men are simple, their actions are common sense and their reasons are easy to explain. (Let's keep in mind, because I know there will be a crybaby out there that says I am generalizing, I am not including all men in this discussion... I am just using my personal experience as a guide.)
1. Men are simple. If they don't call... it is for one of three reasons...
I. They don't want to talk to you.
II. They are intimidated by you.
III. They got their service disconnected because they didn't pay the bill.
Don't read into it. They aren't waiting three days, they didn't leave their phone at a friends, and they did get the fifty messages that you left, no matter what they say otherwise... take a hint and move on.
2. Men do not like to be pursued.
It is not hot for you to call them when you wake up, after your shower, when you are eating breakfast and 65 other times throughout the day. If you can't be self sufficient, the clingy girl will go from cute to overwhelming in a week, tops. He wants to pursue you. If you don't call and he wants to talk to you he will call you!
3. Take care of yourself.
Attracting a man is a simple process... eyes first, mind later. If you are wearing sweatpants and haven't showered in three days, don't wonder why you haven't gotten hit on. Guys are 92% visual. And this is for the life of your relationship. No matter what he says... the nightshirt you wear with holes is not his favorite.
4. Men are not projects.
If you don't like who he is right now, you will not like him in a month, week or year. You will not be a catalyst for him to stop smoking, womanizing, drinking or being an Athiest. Do not even start a relationship with someone that you cannot see yourself with in the future, as is.... it is useless to attempt to change someone. In the future he may change what you don't like, but there is a good possibility that isn't going to happen and you will ruin the relationship if you are constantly reminding him of how he can change.
And now some general advice.
It is in your best interest to seek to make friends and quit searching for a mate. When you are friends first, and I mean true friends, you know each others vices, you know that he snores when he sleeps, or that she can't keep a man because she is high maintenance. Friendships always make the sweetest relationships. At some point your passion and lust are going to fade away, maybe in 5 years, maybe in 40 but at some point you are going to be faced with someone that you have to coexist with... it is so sweet to be able to carry on a conversation with your spouse and know that they are your best friend.
Ladies, men are sexual creatures, if you offer your body whether it be on the first date or when you have been dating a while, no matter what they will be tempted to take you up on the offer. When you do this prior to knowing someone, you are throwing the respect factor out the window. You are no longer someone to get to know, but are in the classification of every other conquest that they have had. It is important to make sure that the person that you give yourself to, is really invested in you. As casual as sex has become in our society, it is important that you know a little piece of you stays with each person that you are intimate with, be sure that it is someone that is worth owning that little piece of you. Guard your body, it is the only one you get. Be selfish with your intimacy. Know that there is someone out there that will respect you more if you wait until you both know that it is the right thing. You are selling yourself short if you believe that by giving your body away, someone will love you. And while we are on the subject... leave something to the imagination. Cover up. You can't tell me that you are dressing premiscuously because it makes you feel good about yourself or you think it looks pretty. You show your assets for one reason, just like Dollar Tree has a big money sign on the door. You are what you advertise.
It is important for me to tell you to live your life. That is the ultimate advice. If you are living your life and making something of yourself, the love aspect of life will find you where you least expect it. Searching for love will most likely leave you empty handed and heavy hearted. You deserve the best. Work on making yourself the best you that is possible. When you are genuinely able to love yourself, someone else will think you are worth loving too.
Again, as a clause, I am no expert. I love observing people and it appears that so many are sinking in an ever widening pool of relationship discharge. These are my opinions... everyone has one... and if you don't, maybe you should trying formulating some, it is good for your soul!
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